* Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
* Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
* Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over
* British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
* Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
* Park Service moves wildlife to missile range for hunting
* Lawyer says client is not that guilty
* Alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember
* A report said the intruder came in through an unlocked dresser drawer
* Clinton Wins Budget - More Lies Ahead
* Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
* New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test
* Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery - Hundreds Dead!
* Committee cuts Heritage Week to 7 days
* Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons
* House republicans are split on whether they're divided
* The sun could be to blame for global warming
* Asian-americans working hard to shatter work-a-holic stereotype
* Tacoma's SAT scores soar, reach U.S. average
* New sci-fi series from Roddenberry. Gene Roddenberry apparently
wrote the series pilot before he died
* People should read the pamphlet on how to deal with bears coming out
with their tax notices from the town
* State prisons to replace easy-open locks
* Gore denies wrongdoing; vows to never do it again
* Medicare no longer a scared cow
* Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after
age 25
* Bankrupcy court now accepts credit cards
* Breakthrough Discovery - Scientists conclude tickling makes you laugh
* Map can help determine location
* Gravity at fault for most accidents involving falling objects
* (story on meat prices and inflation) Prices soar, buyers sore,
cow jumps over moon
* (strip teaser on trial) 3 judges weigh her fan dance; find it wanton
* (thief who stole electric clock) Steals clock; faces time
* Two convicts evade noose; jury hung
* Hat crimes bill passes senate committee
* (announcing birth of triplets) Three of a kind give pair full house
* Nitro may help hemorrhoidal pain
* Programs available to combat literacy
* Absentee votes can be made in person
* Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
* Man Robs, Then Kills Himself
* Khrushchev Is Buried In Encyclopedia
* Carter Plans Swell Deficit
* Living Together Linked To Divorce
* Mayor Says D.C. Is Safe Except For Murders
* Town Okays Animal Rule
* Deer Kill 130,000
* Boys Cause As Many Pregnancies As Girls
* Protitutes Appeal to Pope
* Deadline Passes For Striking Police
* Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
* Bar Trying to Help Alcoholic Lawyers
* Criminal Groups Infiltrating Pot Farms
* Teenage Prostitution Problem Is Mounting
* Delegate sex switch advocated
* Dead Expected To Rise
* Legalized Outhouses Aired By Legislature
* Lot of Women Distressing
* "Dead" Woman Doesn't Recall What Happened
* Blind workers eye better wages
* Sun Sued In Puerto Rico By Conservation Trust
* Milk Drinkers Turn to Powder
* U.S., China Near Pact on Wider Ties
* Mrs. Collins Burned At Dump
* Farmer Bill Dies In House
* Jump Bean Prices Affect Poor
* Lawmen From Mexico Barbeque Guests
* Columnist gets urologist in trouble with his peers
* Antique Stripper to Demonstrate Wares at Store
* Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
* Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
* Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
* House passes gas tax onto senate
* Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
* Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
* William Kelly was fed secretary
* Milk drinkers are turning to powder
* Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
* Farmer bill dies in house
* Squad helps dog bite victim
* New research: without food, people don't eat
* Wednesday the 28th Cornie and Anna Friesen from Hesiton Kansas and Anna
Doerkson from Canada came to Betty Leakey's home for a visit. The two Anna's
ate Betty's first cousin.
* Sonya Plourde received her PhD from the University of Connecticut in
Excremental Psychology ...
* Dealers will hear car talk at noon
* Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
* Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
* Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
* Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
* Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
* Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
* Child's death ruins couple's holiday
* Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
* Man is fatally slain
* Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
* Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
* Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
* Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
* Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
* Eye Drops Off Shelf
* Teachers Strike Idle Kids
* Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
* Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
* Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
* Miners Refuse to Work after Death
* Stolen Painting Found by Tree
* Tomorrow - partly cloudy with a 30% chance of afternoon
* Delta Airlines to stop carrying pets in heat
* Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
* The project involves construction of a new rest room with
observation platforms, a viewing area and interpretive signs
* Jail releases upset judges
* Stress Higher for Working Moms Than for Childless Moms
* Poverty Linked to Inequality of Wealth
* Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
* Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
* War Dims Hope for Peace
* Fried chicken cooked in microwave wins trip
* Woman improving after fatal crash
* Study reveals those without insurance die more often
* Old school pillars are replaced by alumni
* Sex education delayed, teachers request training
* If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
* Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
* (in an emergency room report) patient was struck in the head while playing
rubgy with another individual's head
* La Nina is characterized by cooler waters in the eastern Pacific and wetter
water in the western Pacific
* Deer Kill 17,000
* Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
* Nude dancing appealed to U.S. Supreme Court.
* Starlight Skate Center - Wednesday 7 - 9 p.m. Admission $1 plus
a roll of unused toilet paper
* Calendar of Events: 620 W. Whidbey Ave. (in the rear of Dr. Gallaway)
* missile attacks caused stress and insomnia
* Kara Van Dyne wins Seplling Bee
* Library hits 25 years. Couzens honoured for her tiresome work.
* Eighth grade graduation pictures will be taken on Tuesday. Students
should dress nicely from the waist up.
* One team wins, another loses
* New electric car would run on gasoline
* Chronic fatigue support group unable to get up for rally
* Firewood ruined in roaring fire
* Mark and Patti pose with triplets. The infants, born 15 months early
on July 23, turn 6 months old Thursday
* Between them, they have trapped more than 1,000 bears - black and
grizzlies - in Montana and Yellowstone National Park, said Aberhold.
Most have masters degrees.
* A talk will be given on the planet Mars by Mr. A.R. Hutchings and,
as always, visitors will be welcome.
* Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
* Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
* Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
* Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
* Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
* Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
* New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
* Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
* Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
* Mrs. C. had her church for supper Monday evening.
* A workshop on the history and future of Chinook salmon in the
San Joaquin Valley's rivers will be held in November. Baked
salmon will be served for lunch.
* Eternity Magazine will cease publishing with the January issue.
* Woman wins award after boyfriend shows sex tapes to friends.
* The little girl watched the parade on her father's shoulders.
* Protestor tried to spoil play but the actors succeeded
* Senate passes death penalty measure provides for electrocution
for all persons over 17
* "Lenore" only opera Beethoven wrote on Monday evening.
* Liars find it hard to admit truth.
* Critics say sunken ship not seaworthy.
* Children not likely to inherit infertility.
* Study A Broad In Paris
* A well-known beauty expert says that beauty is not a question
of age. It is making the best of one's good paints.
* The all-girl orchestra was rather weak in the bras section.
* I.B. and J.C. were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that
began in their school days.
* Mrs. E.P. was hostess to the Book-review Group Monday evening.
Mrs. V.C. reviewed the book, Three Little Pigs Stayed Home. There
were 19 present.
* Mrs. Belfield is so sappy and jolly that it is really refreshing to be
with her.
* Father of ten shot; taken for rabbit.
* Mrs. Robertson is head of committee for chest display.
* Economists agree interest rates will either rise or fall.
* Poison used to count dead fish in lake.
* Week-end guests due: Mrs. Knoblauch to go west.
* Many antiques at D.A.R. meeting.
* British study finds less traffic when roads close
* New Orleans police warm strip-teasers.
* Pre-natal parties for bride-elect.
* Egg-laying contest won by local man.
* Grill suspect over big blaze.
* June babies flood Ottawa hospital.
* Borough fatheads have budget trouble.
* 55 roosters stolen at town of Oregon farm. Socialist club to hold
chicken supper.
* This postman was attacked by a part-pitbull and the owner charged.
* Dead policeman in the force for 18 years.
* Correction: Constable -- was admitted to Victoria Hospital, not
London Children's Hospital as stated last Wednesday.
* More than 5,000 high school girls, most of whom are interested primarily
in the homes they expect to ruin in the future, will gather here next week-end.
* The doctor felt the patients purse, and admitted that there was nothing he could do.
* Columbia, Tennessee, which calls itself the largest outdoor mule market
in the world, held a mule parade yesterday, headed by the governor.
* The seventh meeting of the Knox County Jersey Boosters was held at the
home of Katherine and Maxine Cochran. The group inspected the girls' calves.
* Early yellow peaches and apples are being marketed by local fruit growers.
oGod prices are being received, farmers said.
* Mrs. John King entertained the members of the Friday Boob Club.
* Miss Rita Sugar, queen of the Niagara Falls, New York centennial and
Miss Lois Smith, chosen Miss Niagara Falls, Ontario, met last night at the
center of the bridge. The fireworks were visible for miles.
* Mr. and Mrs. Charles L. Thompson and Mr. and Mrs. Russell Hartwick
of Tampa will entertain at open house Sunday, from three until tight.
* Local police are puzzled over the finding of a car parked outside
the Methodist Church containing a full case of Scotch whiskey. So
far they have found no trace of the owner, but Captain Casey is
diligently working on the case.
* Mrs. Pike C. Ross left today for LaHarpe and the Brookfield Zoo
in Chicago to visit relatives.
* A precious little bungle of love arrived at the home of Mr. and Mrs.
Gordon Peter, Wednesday morning, a nine-pound bouncing boy.
* Audience acclaims Dame May Whitty in Nighty Must Fall.
* Secretary about to married urgently, needs a 2 rm. apt.
* Tight end returns after colon surgery.
* Watch out for the pancake supper sponsored by the Mikana Ladies Aid.
* It has been 15 years since Tipton, California has had a mayor who smoked.
Mayor North never smoked, ex-Mayor Calman doesn't smoke, and Mayor
Chapman never smoked when living.
* Our paper carried the notice last week that Mr. Jones is a defective in the
police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Jones is really a detective
in the police farce.
* Members of the Thursday Club met yesterday at the home of Mrs. Frank
Spencer for luncheon and contract. Guests were Mrs. I.D. Linder, Mrs. A.A.
Parkhurst and Mrs. Neil Wilkinson. Mrs. Wilkinson was high.
* The area in which Miss Garson was injured is spectacularly scenic.
* Both high school bands will be present to dispense with fine music.
* The 75-year-old hotel closed for the last time in 1969 after housing a number
of businesses and ten ants.
* The weather was kind to us, and the vicarage garden was packed with young
men and women bent on enjoying themselves. It was the biggest open-air fathering
in the village for years.
* Sukova, the 21-year-old Czech who at 88 meters is tennis' tallest woman, beat
Armenian giant killer Robin White at Eastbourne today.
* Portable toilet bombed - police have nothing to go on.
* Reagan, master illusionist, is himself a kind of American dream. Looking at his
genial, crinkly face prompts a sense of wonder: how does he pull it off.
* Soviet Bloc heads met today to discuss the upcoming summit.
* To keep your lettuce from spoiling, just put your head in the refrigerator.
* No one was injured in the blast, which was attributed to a build-up of gasses
by one town official.
* Vice-president's visit to South Wales:
4:15 - Media should arrive.
4:25 - Call on premier at State Office Block.
5:00 - Leave the SOB for the Wentworth Hotel.
* After the end of each month in which a staff member incurs reimbursable expenses,
he should submit a completed travel voucher
with the required receipts attached to his department head.
* You can walk on beaches where the hand of man has never set foot.
* When a table fork inserted into the thickest part of the leg pierces the meat or
breaks, your duckling is ready to eat.
* Cutting off supply will stem drug flow.
* Scientific police were today examining a headless and armless body found
by a jogger yesterday to see if there were any suspicious circumstances.
* At three months the queen carried her youngest son, Prince Edward, on to
the balcony of Buckingham Palace following the trooping ceremony.
* Frog races to raise money for hospital.
* Billy at Bar Bossanova invites all his friends to his special Irish happy hour.
Have on drink and pay for two.
* Neurosurgeons should soon be able to uncross their fingers while operating
on the brain, a senior consultant claimed last night.
* Miners refuse to work after death.
* Prince Edward turned up shortly afterwards with his detective. The couple danced
together before the prince returned to the Palace of Holyrood around midnight.
* Everton, bidding to reach Wembley for the third successive season, will meet
Sheffield Wednesday or West Ham if they overcome Luton in tomorrow's replay
at Goodison Park tonight.
* Gulf states move to protect ships.
* When all the speculation started, I became convinced that UFO's were magnets
from outer space and their mission was to collect socks from planet Earth. No
one's ever disproved that theory.
* Continuing along a mall lined five people deep, Mrs. Thatcher stopped periodically
to shake hands, or stooped to kill and embrace small children.
* Guinea pig to cox Cambridge boat
* Second graders make perfect pets
* Students cook and service grandparents
* Tracey, aged 21, pictured above waking up at Crest Hotel, Cardiff, today won
the votes of the judges with her stunning blond hair, blue eyes and 34-34-34 figure.
* An error in the Sunday business section incorrectly said Brooke Astor and Mrs.
Walter Annenberg are socialists. The word should have been socialites.
* In some editions of today's Food Section, an incorrect number of jalapeno peppers
was given for Elaine Corn's Southwestern chicken-salad recipe. The recipe should
call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.
* Canadian equipment and crews were involved in the drilling of a borehole in South
Africa to a depth of 54,422 meters, a new world record for that country.
* Cuts are hurting patients.
* Actress Elizabeth Taylor poses with her Humanitarian of the year award. She
recently broke off her engagement to public relations consultant Denis Stein.
* While the steel band from William Penn comprehensive school entertained, the
bishop walked among the crowd eating their picnic lunches.
* We require four drivers urgently from 26th August, 1986. Zimbabwean passports
essential but not necessary.
* Chinese astronomer on Halley's Comet.
* If we don't stop shearing the wool off the sheep that lays the golden eggs, we are
soon going to pump it dry.
* Anti-nuclear protesters outside the Sellafield complex threw more than 1,000
daffodils over the fence in protest at the plant's role in Britain's nuclear defence.
* The new British library - sitting comfortably on enlarged piles.
* Recovering from a head injury and shock caused by coming in contact with a live
wife, Arthur E. left Mercy Hospital Wednesday.
* The song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
* W.M. McG. lost a finger when a poisoned dog, to which he was administering
an anecdote, bit him.
* State Senator Ernest A. Johnson, seeking re-election said, I have no promises,
except one - honest government.
* With 23 1/2 pints, the two ladies were high players in four tables of duplicate bridge.
* The slightly built general, with four rows of robbins on his chest, took the witness
chair.
* Student must be able to swim 50 years on back and stomach, and tread water for
three minutes.
* I am divorced and getting married soon but I haven't selected a mate yet.
* (letter to editor) Please tell your readers to think twice before marrying a window.
* (letter to editor) I personally enjoy your newspaper as much as my husband.
* Mr. and Mrs. M.R. of Denver announce the birth of a small 7-year-old child, who
didn't give his name.
* At the pancake booth there will be men flipping flapjacks and colourfully costumed
waitresses.
* The pie-eating contest attracted 54 hearty eaters including a teen-aged boy who
tucked away 20 slices and an 89-year-old grandmother.
* Nineteen persons were reported as injured by doctors at the scene or by their
family physicians.
* Panel oks mandatory volunteering.
* Dead couple kept to themselves, neighbours say.
* Teachers request more time for sex.
* National World War 11 memorial gets approval.
* A mass feeding exercise in which county Civil Defense volunteers cook meals
under simulated disaster conditions has been postponed because of muddy ground
near the CD headquarters here.
* Mrs. MacIvor has urged that all parents attend this meeting and bring the youngsters
and other problems.
* Last evening the Tennis Club ball was held at the Community Hall. Seldom has
there been so splendid a display of beaux and bellies.
* Station WHP-TV was off several minutes, but the relief was short-lived.
* Key witness takes fifth in liquor probe.
* The prosecutor did an excellent job of gumming up the case
* There is a picnic during the two-day outing which practically doubles the
population of the town each year.
* New shipment of Navy jackets, and many other items too humourous to mention
* Search for woman in fertilized egg suit goes nation wide
* Easter matinee 10 a.m. Saturday morning. Every child laying an egg in the ushers'
hands will be admitted free.
* Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help
* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community
* The rosebud on teh altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Smith,
the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Smith
* Wednesday, teh Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing Put Me In
My Little Bed, accompanied by the pastor.
* This being Easter Sunday, we ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar
* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the hall. Music will follow.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be What Is Hell? Come early
and listen to our choir practice.
* Bertha Belch, a missonary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at
Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
* (announcement for a national prayer and fasting conference) The cost for
attending the Prayer & Fasting conference includes meals.
* The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on Water." The sermon
tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
* Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8pm in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
* Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your
husband.
* The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to
a
conflict.
* Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who
doesn't care much about you.
* Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again", giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
* Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
the
help they can get.
* Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of
Pastor Jack's sermons.
* During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
* Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
* The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6pm. Steak, mashed
potatoes,
green beans bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered.
* Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy
lunch.
* The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb
entertainment,
and gracious hostility.
* Potluck supper Sunday at 5pm. - prayer and medication to follow.
* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They
may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
* This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across
from
the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
* Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All
ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
* The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies would lend him their
electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
* Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please
use
the back door.
* The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespear's Hamlet in the
church basement on Friday at 7pm. The congergation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
* Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
* (Civil Service job requirement) Ability to distinguish basic colours without the
use of hearing aid is required.
* Industrial Boulevard is empty because it is a road to nowhere. Work is under
way to extend it.
* These retailers know that good beef is one of the best magnets for drawing
customers into their stores, and they're not sparing the horses to get it.
* He also received the first national bedding award from the National Association
of Bedding Manufacturers. He is married and has nine children.
* The University Symphony Orchestra will have its first rehearsal Wednesday
in Crouse Auditorium. Louis Krasner, conductor, will be available for consolation
from 6:30 on.
* Low necklines on t.v. will be probed.
* Officer J.D. Gilmer arrested the prowler after a short chaser.
* The Skyland Garden Club will meet Thursday at 10:00 a.m. at the Country Club.
Shady subjects will be discussed.
* Floyd Cavanaugh - Justice of Peace. A tired and true Democrat.
* The subcommittee is also investigating charges that servicemen are used to
perform mental tasks for officers.
* Dizzy Dean's head x-rays reveal nothing.
* All neurological tests on Tony Fernandez were negative.
* Mrs. Elsie McCutcheon of Westfield will speak on International Affairs at the
business and Professional Women's Club Thursday. Members who desire to
cancel reservations should phone 288R.
* Father of 11 fined $200 for failing to stop.
* An eight-pound daughter came to frighten the home of Mr. and Mrs. Brown.
* Representatives from about fourteen of the town's package stores met last night
to hear some advice about how they can protect themselves from Police Chief
Herman O. Schendel.
* All members are requested to bring their wives and one other covered dish,
along with table service.
* Five hundred splendidly dressed ladies and gentlemen of New Orleans listened,
as did the working stiffs of the press and the diplomatic corps.
* The party was then driven to the replica of the Liverpool Castle. Photographs
of the ruins were taken, including those in the party.
* Completing an impressive ceremony, the Admiral's lovely daughter smashed a
bottle of champagne over her stern as she slid gracefully down the ways.
* Grilled leg of lamp offers healthy taste.
* For the unusual part of the meal serve barbecued creamed potatoes. This is a
dish that can be made well in advance and hated.
* Whether the millionaires were more interested in stocks or blondes he declined
to say.
* (from a fried chicken recipe) Use a frying pan large enough so pieces will fit
without crowing.
* Public asked to meet on light poles.
* Mrs. Rebecca Robinson, ninety-nine, recites poetry as a hobby. One of
her favourites is "There Are No Sects In Heaven", not "There Is No Sex In
Heaven" as stated incorrectly in our Wednesday edition.
* Mrs. White is assisting in the care of her mother in Iowa, so Mr. White
is straying at the local hotel.
* Mr. and Mrs. Evan Hill had Mr. and Mrs. Frank Sarles for dinner. They
were delicious. I would like to be a psychologist. I plan on taking as much
psychology as possible in college and may someday emerge another Fraud.
* Club pictures are being taken now, while following the exams the faculty
will be shot.
* The Town and Country Garden Club will meet on Wednesday at 8 p.m.
Mrs. Ralph Dona and Mrs. Raymond T. Schmelzle will demonstrate the
identification of bare limbs.
* Robert Fleming arrived in the Philippines from Bougainville and saw his
first white woman in more than a year. Bob has been awarded the Good
Conduct Medal.
* Still, as Fred Simmons says, "For sheer tricks, fight and stamina, give
me a small-mouthed lass at sundown any time."
* Rudy Menzel just returned from Canada with a thirteen-hundred pound
mouse. This was Rudy's first hunting experience with big game.
* Mr. Brown has grown in stature through the ears.
* The Kent fire department evacuated two families after high-tension wives
were blown across their homes.
* Eight candidates, including all four incompetents, are seeking the four City
Council positions.
* Judge acts to keep theater open.
* The landlord insisted that no female should be allowed in the bra without
a man.
* Miss Patricia Muddleton, qualified vice instructor, sang "Christian, Dost
Thou See Them?" on Saturday night.
* Mrs. Alsop was married before anesthetics came into use in surgical operations.
* I never went through that ghastly adolescent phrase most girls experience.
I went from child to woman in one go. One day I was a child. The next, a man.
* Mrs. Freda Wallace Brown, 79, of Baltimore, Maryland, dined this week at
her home. Service and cremation will be held next Thursday at 2:00 p.m.
* Never throw away old chicken bones, or those left from a roast. Put them in
water and boil them for several hours with a few diced vegetables, it will make
a very delicious soap.
* The bride was gowned in white silk and lace. The colour scheme of the
bridesmaids' gowns and flowers was punk.
* The accident occurred at Hillcrest Drive and Santa Barbara Avenue as the
dead man was crossing the intersection.
* An Arab country, like Ireland, is a place where the remarkable seldom happens,
and the impossible is of frequent occurrence.
* Many students are planning to follow the team to the scene of the bottle.
* Mr. Bromsgrove suffered a stroke on 24 November 1980 but with the loving
care of his family and his kind and efficient nurse, he never fully recovered.
* The ladies of the Helping Hand Society enjoyed a swap social on Friday evening.
Everybody brought along something they no longer needed. Many of the ladies
were accompanied by their husbands.
* Over 50 children took advantage of the mobile clinic and were examined for
tuberculosis and other diseases which the clinic offered free of charge.
* The new bride is approximately eighteen feet wide from buttress to buttress.
* We note with regret that Mr. Willis Overing is recovering after a serious car crash.
* The new hospital extension will enable patients to be prepared and served in
such a way that has previously been impossible.
* Some of the boy's methods are quite ingenious, the professors at the Institute
have found. For instance, when asked to multiply 20 by 24 mentally, he gave the
answer - 600 - in a few seconds.
* Sex and violence came into Jane Morgan's life gradually. Then she became a
Christian and matters escalated.
* Ms. Turner has set up a campaign against incestuous relationships at the house
where she loves with her parents.
* Blend sugar, flour, and salt. Add egg and milk, cook until creamy in double
boiler. Stir frequently. Add rest of ingredients. Mix well and serve chilled.
Funeral service will be held Thursday afternoon at two o'clock.
* An off-license was looted and police opened fire after they were stoned.
* Before the girls left the White House, Mrs. Reagan presented each of them
with a small engraving of the Execution Mansion to keep as a memento.
* Congratulations on making the dean's list at the Delaware Community College.
This is an important milestone in your life and an achievement worth nothing.
* Man found dead in graveyard.
* Local man has longest horns in Texas.
* Passengers hit by cancelled trains.
* Buffalo swept off feet by Mendelssohn choir.
* Massive organ draws the crowd.
* Hamm fails to identify Yeggs.
* Sisters wed brothers have babies same day.
* Police move in book case.
* Undertaker's failure -- let down by customers.
* 20-year friendship ends at the alter.
* Newly-weds aged 82, have problem.
* Lucky man sees friends die.
* Bachelors prefer beauty to brains in their wives.
* Prisoners escape after execution.
* More men found wedded than women.
* Pope beautifies controversial monk.
* David Shapiro, a Torontonian who is president of O&Y Southeast is a
staunch believer of air in the environment.
* Frank Basso, 39, of Poughkeepsie, N.Y., was attempting a left turn into a
driveway from Route 41 on Saturday when he collided with a car driven by
Frank Basso, 39, also of Poughkeepsie, N.Y.
* The council issues free bus passes to women aged 60 but will not give them
men until they are aged 65.
* Some murderers prone to violence.
* Council leaders, who recently laid down an emergency snow plan to combat
harsh weather, are under pressure to come up with similar measures to cope with
a nuclear holocaust.
* The groom has been married previously on two occasions. He has also been
through World War II.
* City jail lacks ambience.
* Absenteeism is no problem at Perth prison.
* City blames too much water for flooding.
* We use dog teams because they don't break down like Ski-Doos do.
And he says that every single structure at Colville Lake is made from dogs
because plywood is too expensive to ship.
* At other times worms have been regarded as cure medicine for jaundice,
gall-stones, baldness and importance.
* Balerina Viviana Durante, aged 20, took over the lead role half-way
through Swan Lake at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden, on
Wednesday when Maria Almeida, who had been dancing the part,
tripped and injured herself in the wings.
* Bad health resulting from sheer overwork - he had by that time
become a sensationally popular platform reader of scenes from his
novels - killed him when he was only 58. Still he carried on.
* During the course of his career James Robertson has been an author,
broadcaster, journalist, advertising agent, pig and dairy farmer.
* Homosexuality among consenting adults is legal in Britain but not
compulsory in most counties.
* The Girl Scouts in this area are planning to form a Little Mothers Club
much like the already formed Little Fathers Club headed by their scout
master. All Girl Scouts interested in becoming 'little mothers' are to meet
with the Boy Scout Master in the high school gym after this meeting.
* Be sure to attend the Elks' Club Charity Beer Drinking contest with
entry fees going to charity. The beer drinking contest starts Wednesday
afternoon with eliminations all day Thursday.
* Mayor John Lindsay said he will keep an eye on the topless situation
in New York; he further said that the courts will also take a close look
at the girls.
* It's best to go to the fish market early Friday morning and leave your odor.
* Sitting out in our audience is talented Dolores Gray, currently starving
on Broadway.
* ... most of the girl pros easily reached this green with a six or a seven
iron. In yesterday's round the wind was blowing in the opposite direction;
only one girl had a douche on this hole ... deuce.
* Houchens Market has fresh young hens ready for the rooster ... roaster.
* Astronaut Alan Shepard is now going over his chick list before launching.
* The city sheriff was kept busy with three buglers last night.
* The robbers cleaned out two girl tellers' drawers.
* The President and Premier Khrushchev held a private meeting; however, we
have no details as to what went on, as newsmen were bored from the conference.
* The rumour that President Nixon would veto the bill comes from high White
Horse souses.
* Be sure not to miss The Coming of Christ, Wednesday, 8:30 p.m., 7:30
Central time.
* (a physics professor on a science program) I see our time is running out,
and to be on the safe side and before I do anything else, I'll have to ask you
to bear with me for a moment while I get rid of my gas.
* Judge Walter Thompson warned the manufacturers that the courts had already
handed down the decision, and he would look with disfavour upon anyone who
tampered with his union suit.
* She was arrested after she was discovered running through the streets of town
in the nude. Police held her several days for observation.
* The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team, and it seems as if they have their
future head of them.
* Jack Kachave, with a bad knee, limps back to the huddle. He wants to play
this game in the worst way ... and that's exactly what he's doing.
* Karl Smith, 83, a lifetime resident of this city, passed away at his home Tuesday
night. Funeral services for Mr. Smith will be held in the chapel of the First Methodist
Church. Entertainment will follow in the cemetery. Excuse me, that should have been
interment.
* Billy Casper, usually an excellent putter, seems to be having difficulty with his long
putts. However, he has no trouble dropping his shorts.
* ... then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil.
* The C-47, carrying a planeload of chorus girls bound for a USO destination to
entertain troops, was forced down in a jungle somewhere in Africa. However, all
parsons abroad were reported safe.
* It appears that sympathetic unions will not cross picnic lines.
* The parents of Mary Harkness have asked the police to search for their daughter,
who has been missing since 6 p.m. yesterday. She was last seen wearing a blue
sweater and gray skirt. Mary is 99 years old and weighs 9 pounds.
* Plans were announced for the parade which will follow the Governor's
conference. At 2 p.m. the cars will leave their headquarters just as soon
as the Governors are loaded.
* There are many things that you're not supposed to eat, especially children.
* The Federal government has ordered schools in Mississippi to disintegrate.
* The police department wants young, aggressive men to consider a life in law
enforcement. New recruits are given intensive training in handling of firearms,
marksmanship, self-defense and finger-painting.
* Radio listeners were told about an exhibition by a millionaire art connoisseur
who would be displaying the newly-acquired bust of his twelve-year-old grand-
daughter on t.v.
* When FBI agents boarded the plane, a fight began. During the struggle, the
hijacker's gun went off, wounding a stewardess in the tail section.
* The rioting hippies were finally brought under control after police sprayed
mice into the crowd - excuse me, I think that should have been mace.
* And after examining the wreckage of the two automobiles, police told reporters
it was a miracle that none of the passengers suffered injuries or serious death.
* The man's leg was severed when he was accidentally hit by a subway station.
* Although the patient had never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead.
* Owing to slackness of demand there was a great slut on the market.
* Floods from the Mississippi may be prevented by putting big dames in the river.
* Car leaves road; suffers broken nose.
* Santa Rosa man denies he committed suicide in San Francisco.
* Thugs eat then rob proprietor.
* Peace or war deemed near.
* Rev. Key resigns; attendance doubles.
* Wild Wife league will meet tonight.
* County officials to talk rubbish.
* S.M., 80, held for shooting grandmother's husband.
* Wife gives birth to a boy; he asks for old age pension.
* Hotel burns; two hundred guests escape half glad.
* Infant morality shows drop here.
* Enraged cow injures farmer with axe.
* Jury gets drunk driving case here.
* Nebraska officers best bank bandits.
* Gypsy rose has a 5 1/2 pound stipling.
* No one goes to that restaurant anymore; it's too crowded.
* The House of Representatives complied by voting enough funds to hide
15 additional state troopers.
* To acquaint employees with Mansfield Tire's group of general foremen,
we will try to report the personal histories of these important clogs in our
plant machinery.
* One can peek in most any evening on this home-loving young actress and
find her cuddled up in an easy chair with a good boob before a crackling log fire.
* Mr. M. visited the school yesterday and lectured on 'Destructive Pests!'
A large number were present.
* The district game warden filed four complaints, charging illegal fishing in Judge
Padgett's court.
* After Governor Baldridge watched the lion perform, he was taken to Main
Street and fed twenty-five pounds of raw meat in front of the Fox theater.
* The ladies of the Cherry Street church have discarded clothing of all kinds.
Call at 44 North Cherry Street for inspection.
* The book is supposed to out-smell the two million copies of the first book.
* William Andrews returned home yesterday from the hospital, where his left
leg was placed in a cast following a fracture of the right ankle.
* The baby was developing slowly because it was one year premature.
* Perrin Beatty was accused of sitting on the video tape for five years.
* Military spokesmen said the plane crashed on impact with the ground and
did not blow up in mid-air.
* Dr. Johnson has been working with an insect which controls the weed.
* Gourmets of any religious persuasion can register to attend the class titled
Fundamental Gourmet Methods and Techniques. A typographical error in
last week's paper was not intended to limit the class to Methodists only.
* The man entered the bank and presented the teller with a knife.
* A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors
have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
* (a capella concert review) And they performed without musical accomplishment.
* When the Lunt-Funtanne comedy, O Mistress Mine, was playing on Broadway,
a man in Washington, D.C. wired a New York friend to get him a pair of tickets
for the following Saturday night. This the friend was able to do, and promptly wired:
MISTRESS OKAY FOR SATURDAY. The Washington man read the wire
and chuckled. Penciled below the message were the words:
Western Union prefers not to transmit this type of message.
* The weatherman - the complete dope on the weather.
* Damn construction 92 percent complete at Brushy Creek.
* Party time at the sewage treatment plant. In addition to
the cookout, the even will include guided tours of the plant,
a moonwalk and pony rides for the children, a dunk tank and
a disc jockey.
* Lawmakers to consider housing felons in jails.
* Microsoft accuses judge of being impartial.
* (Police report) Animal complaint: ... police responded
to Cypress Court for a report of a crazed duck in the area.
Officers searched the area and found only relaxed ducks.
* Greenland meteorite may be from space
* Parade Saturday. Children will be given threats by Santa Claus
* Lawyer says client is not that guilty
* Alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember
* Gas cloud clears out taco bell
* Fishing derby. Outhouses on both sides of the lake. Don't forget
to bring your camera - you'll wish you had it after you release the
big one.
