DENSE FOG... How i love the english weather. My christmas journey back to Kernow was meant to have been a very straightforward relaxed affair, but oh no... straightforward was it anything BUT ! The plan should have given me enough time between flights to cross london, have a hearty lunch in the city with me mate nic and perhaps even enough time for a last minute christmas shop. Forget it !

The journey at the outset from zürich was a little delayed, but I still had enough spare time between flights for it not to be a problem. Mid flight however the fun started. The announcement came that planes were stacking above the skies of the south east and landing was going to be further postponed by another hour. A trickle of sweat now crossed my increasingly furrowed brow. I now had less than 1.5 hours to get from gatwick to stansted. Gatwick airport is 30 minutes south of central london, while stansted airport is 40 minutes north with a guestimate 25 minute tube journey in between the two london train stations. The mission impossible was most definitely ON. I literally sprinted baggage & christmas presents included through north terminal at gatwick, to the south terminal and gatwick express, through the london underground with a seemingly endless transfer to the central line at oxford circus and finally to liverpool street and to the stansted express like a whirling dervish. I really was a man possessed. The timing of my connections could have been a little kinder and although I was tired, wet from sweat and super stressed when i sat down on the last train i was certainly not beat and i felt confident i was going to make it. British rail was going to save the day... British rail was not going to save the day... British rail was going to xxxx up spectacularly just 10 minutes from the final stop. At a place called bishops storford the train seemed to be taking a rather long time to leave. Too long in fact.. Then it came.. "This train has an engine problem and will terminate here !" I simply could not believe it...

I bolted off the train to the taxi rank. Somehow I was first in front of a crowd of hundreds and agreed with the 2 girls behind me to share a cab. There were no waiting taxis and after what seemed like an endless 5 minute wait came a solitary cab. "Stansted airport mate" and i've always wanted to say this "STEP ON IT!" However a suffolk taxi driver's idea of step on it isn't quite the same as hollywood had led me to believe. They lied !!! I could have crawled faster to the airport. Still the girls in the back were sweet and had more time till their flight and insisted they pay for the taxi. How nice ! We make it and i wish the girls good luck. I don't think i have ever seen so many people waiting at an airport to check in for flights. This was not looking good. I find the nearest ryanair information and explain the situation. A good man rushes me through the crowds claiming if there is a girl still at the desk then there is a good chance i can make the flight as most had been delayed. There was no girl at the desk, they were checking in the next flight and mine was the only flight that was going to leave on time. Pull back to me standing in a sea of thousands... Fists waving at the heavens. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !

I had missed my flight ! The next flight the next day was booked up and i was stuck in the east of england.

Shit I was damned if i was going to ride back to london, cross from east to west and get on a train for the 5 hour journey to cornwall or for that matter hire a car after the day i had had.

What the fuck was i going to do... Think... Think...

Then the penny dropped... It was a long shot, but maybe just maybe it might just work...

to be continued...

great read.. ! now what's the plan stan ? go to the maldives?

'this train cannot continue because we are unable to locate a driver at present' - how the hell did it get that far?
'this train will be delayed due to wet tracks' - no shit its england
'this train will be delayed due to leaves on the tracks' - yes thats called autumn and it happens every year

And since when are planes unable to fly in fog? There is something called radar which was invented in the 1930s... and it's not like fog is UNUSUAL in England.

I'm convinced this is a conspiracy by Al-Quaeda to undermine faith in the government (well ok maybe they did that themselves) and fuck up everybody's christmas so they convert to islam the next year. i don't have proof, but neither does anyone else... ha!

http://www.20min.ch/news/kreuz_und_quer/story/28116549

what a great read, tell us more!