At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "if GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the car windows, shut it off, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT", but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

9. The airbag system would ask "are you SURE?" before deploying.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Feine Unterschiede zwischen Dir und Deinem Chef

Wenn du lange brauchst, bist du langsam.
Wenn dein Chef mal länger braucht, ist er gründlich.

Wenn du etwas nicht machst, bis du faul.
Wenn dein Chef etwas nicht macht, ist er zu beschäftigt.

Wenn du einen Fehler machst, bist du ein Idiot.
Wenn dein Chef daneben liegt, ist das nur menschlich.

Wenn du etwas unaufgefordert machst, hast du deine Kompetenz
überschritten.
Wenn Dein Chef spontan eine Entscheidung fällt, ist er initiativ.

Wenn du standhaft bleibst, bist du engstirnig.
Wenn dein Chef sich durchsetzt, ist er standhaft.

Wenn du eine Benimmregel missachtest, bist du unhöflich.
Wenn dein Chef sich daneben benimmt, ist er originell.

Wenn du deinem Chef eine Freude machst, bist du ein Arschkriecher.
Wenn dein Chef seinem Chef eine Freude macht, ist er kooperativ.

Wenn du gerade mal nicht im Büro bist, lungerst du herum.
Wenn dein Chef ausser Haus ist, ist das geschäftlich. IMMER.

So ist das Leben eben ....oder

Wenn du glaubst, Abteilungsleiter würden Abteilungen leiten, dann glaubst
du wohl auch,
Zitronenfalter würde Zitronen falten.