Controversial Wests Tigers winger John Hopoate has been suspended for 12 weeks after being found guilty by the NRL Judiciary of poking his fingers up the anuses of three North Queensland players.......

......In the end the NRL Judiciary had little trouble differentiating between a "wedgie", a "finger up the arse" and the area between the "arse and the nuts" before finding Hopoate guilty.....

......Hopoate, 27, was found guilty on three separate counts of deliberately sticking his fingers up the anuses of Peter Jones, Paul Bowman and Glenn Morrison in Saturday night's match at Dairy Farmers Stadium.

http://www.sportal.com.au/league.asp?i=news&id=9703

Newport, Arkansas - An American prison maths teacher has been reprimanded for substituting units of cocaine and methamphetamines while testing inmates on their multiplication skills.

Instead of using apples and oranges to calculate ratios, the instructor at an Arkansas prison used rocks of cocaine and meth ingredients. Among his questions: "Rico sells 422 rocks a week in four territories. He wants to expand to seven territories. If he continues to sell at the same rate, how many rocks a week will he sell in seven territories?"

A letter of reprimand had been placed in the teacher's file, Arkansas department of correction spokesperson Dina Tyler said.

(The answer is 738.5 rocks.) - Sapa-AP

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?art_id=ct20040213214140290R216855

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/lifeandstyle/articles/9242221?source=Evening%20Standard

As well as the cumin and masala flavour, NestlÈ is considering offering lemon cheesecake, liquorice, saffron and passion fruit.