http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4165752061

Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0 and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarentee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions: 1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking), 2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).

Some people are weird...