Stalking along the freeway, carrying gilded boxing gloves, cometh Gustaf! And he gives a booming scream:

"I'm going to forcibly reverse your gender!!"

Rampaging out of the steppes, wielding a burning branch, cometh Bjorn! And he gives an ominous scream:

"I'm going to brutalize you to the moon and back!!"

Lo! Who is that, striding across the tundra! It is Chris, hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! And with a spectacular howl, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to fuck you until I am off parole!!!"

Hark! Who is that, skulking amidst the candy store! It is Francesco, hands clutching a thorned whip! And with a vengeful scream, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to flog you until Amnesty International campaigns against it!"

Prowling on the freeway, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Snoogans00! And he gives a cruel cry:

"I'm going to spank you until you bleed out your eyes!!"

Hark! Who is that, stalking across the mountains! It is James, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! He bellows vengefully:

"I'm going to punch you all the way to Bangladesh!!"

Stalking across the candy store, carrying a burning branch, cometh Chesty! And she gives a bloodthirsty roar:

"I'm going to brutalize you with such disregard for common sense, your blood will flow counter-clockwise!!"

Sprinting through the hotel lobby, clutching a reflective halberd, cometh Mindlifter! And he gives a vengeful bellow:

"I'm going to smash you so heinously, you will see ultraviolet!!"