The next time you’re at home preparing a healthy meal for yourself, en route to a good night’s sleep, you might want to consider instead the route of the drunken asshole. Always a crowd pleaser, barrel of laughs and guaranteed good time for all. How might one achieve such stature? Read on, good friend...

http://www.rocketpack.org/raymi-drunk_asshole.html

I don't really think we need a guide for that sort of behaviour...