And then jailed for the pleasure...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mb606/F2241577?thread=1247780

"Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness."

A really drunk guy is walking home from the bar and sees a pumpkin patch on the side of the road. He thinks how nice and squishy they must be on the inside, and decides to have a little fun with a pumpkin. He finds a big one, cuts a hole in it, and starts going at it. It must have been getting pretty good because he didn't even notice that a cop car had pulled up, and that an officer was walking right towards him. The cop says "Hey buddy.... Do you know you're screwing a pumpkin?" to which the guy respond,s "A pumpkin?!? It's midnight already???"

http://www.geocities.com/mikey_wbt/newspaper_cuttings/dog_drunk.html

Seems this story has been around for a while and is very unlikely to be true...