Ex-HP CEO Carly Fiorina dies, and she goes through the usual process of defending her case in front of the Divine Jury. When the jury comes back and returns the verdict, it turns out she has been admitted to Heaven. So Carly is filling in the usual paperwork at the HAO's desk (Heaven Admission Officer): non-disclosure agreement, legal disclaimers, non-competition clause, etc...

'Congratulations and welcome to Heaven,' says the angel at last. 'Go down the corridor, first door on your right.'

Carly walks to the door, pushes it open... and staggers back. All you can see through the leaping flames are countless devils inflicting the most horrible tortures on all manner of screaming souls. She rushes back to the Officer and waves her admission pass, breathless. 'Must be an error, this thing here says Heaven!'

'Oh yeah,' says the angel, barely looking up from his screen.
'Forgot to tell you... we merged'...

I would be too with this sort of pay-off...

http://news.com.com/Fiorina+leaves+HP+with+42+million+payday/2100-1001_3-5573658.html?tag=nefd.top

Carly Fiorina, the former chief executive of Hewlett-Packard, will receive a severance package worth about $21.4 million, and stands to gain at least $21.1 million more.

The additional amount reflects the estimated value of her pension, stock options and HP stock holdings, which the company did not include in her severance package.

But it's not all bad...

She will also keep her computer, receive technical support for three months, and have access to a secretary for six months.