As featured in So Graham Norton a few years ago...
THE MORMON'S GUIDE TO PREVENTING M4STURBATION!

http://www.moonmac.com/Mormon_m4sturbation.html

my favourite bit...
"When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge."
and
"Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months."
hmmm...
I see a calendar and it's all painted black...

i just discovered something quite frightening.

rumpled - stilt - skin?
apparently it's an adaptation of a medieval folktale to prevent fornication... in the old version the stilt (as in the ones you walk on...) with the rumpled skin (...) doesn't get his foot stuck in the floor but in the miller's daughter... rendering her forever infertile.

another perverse kiddies story is cinderella - in old french, the words for glass and fur are the same - the prince went around the kingdom seeing which 'fur slipper' was the best fit.

If you ask me, this beats the urban legends about mysterious words and hidden phrases in disney films... and of course adds a hitherto unadded historically educational element to blank.

http://d0e.fyllecell.org/useless/picturehider/picturehider.zip